Girl Carries Secret Baby to Hospital, Still Attached
I'm not going to paste some article here, but I'll give you the brief synopsis of this fairytale. A high schooler took Home Ec to a new level this week -- it was either that or she didn't follow the directions. So a 17-year old girl got up one idle Tuesday to get ready for yet another day of being a misunderstood teen when after she hopped into the shower, a life changing event occured!
No, she did not get her first period. At 17 I'd be a little worried.
Rather, she goes into labor -- yes, labor -- and gives birth to some tiny evil spawn. To quote her, "I felt his head coming, so I sit down and pushed so he could come out." I know, I know... Her English makes me cringe too. Even better, she pushed so he could come out -- good thinking Sherlock.
Hold on now! It gets better! As we've all learned in school -- or at least some of us have -- babies are attached to their mothers by an umbilical chord. After this teenage girl becomes a mommy, she picks up her offspring, wraps it up and with the chord still attached she walks -- walks -- to the hospital. Can you imagine?? Lets forget the fact that she gave birth; minor detail at this juncture. Instead, lets think about this walking to the hospital bit. Baby in hands. Placenta in tow. Umbilical chord attached. Really think about that last part. Attached. This chord is stemming from the infant's soon-to-be bellybutton (possibly an outtie at this point) and is feeding right back up into her yoohoo then she walked to the damn hospital. I have no words for this other than... Trojans. A million reasons and 46 chromosomes why to spend the ten bucks and slip one on.
Wait for it... Now I know what you're thinking, why didn't she just call 911? Well, her phone was disconnected. I guess this bright young child prodigy didn't know that even when your home phone is on the fritz due to possible lack of bill payment (I hate it when that happens) that you can still call the emergency hot line 911. So why didn't she use a neighbor's phone? I'll let her field this question for you... She did not want to wake the neighbors because it was so early. I wish she lived next door to me. At least I know she'll be considerate enough to have a baby and not bother me in the morning in her time of distress. Who said the youth of America didn't show respect??
So why didn't her mother help out? Here lies the twist in our little Disney story... The girl didn't tell her mother because she was afraid she'd get kicked out of the house. This makes me wonder... Did her mother not notice her daughter was gaining weight or was this girl round enough where a weight gain went undetected all this time? Now that baby is here however, grandma had to show face and said she would help her daughter take care of the new bundle of joy. Something tells me that when they got home, doors closed where no one could hear or see them, grandma let her daughter know exactly how she felt.
What a happy family. You can hardly keep the smile off the girl's face.
And her mother looks so proud...
The doctor was kind enough to call this teenager "clever" for her "quick thinking". I apologize, but if this is any example of quick thinking amongst our teens today, I fear even more for the future. Doc Perez -- not Perez Hilton -- went on to say that "she knew what to do". You are so right Dr Perez! She's a regular Ben Franklin, the way she sit down and pushed in the shower then wrapped the still attached baby then walked to the hospital. In the words of the immortal Wile E. Coyote... Suuuper Geeenius.
Keep your eye out for this girl to be on the next Maury 100% sure that five different men are the father.
For an unbiased opinion, here is the CNN rendition of the story:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/04/teen.birth.ap/index.html
I'm not going to paste some article here, but I'll give you the brief synopsis of this fairytale. A high schooler took Home Ec to a new level this week -- it was either that or she didn't follow the directions. So a 17-year old girl got up one idle Tuesday to get ready for yet another day of being a misunderstood teen when after she hopped into the shower, a life changing event occured!
No, she did not get her first period. At 17 I'd be a little worried.
Rather, she goes into labor -- yes, labor -- and gives birth to some tiny evil spawn. To quote her, "I felt his head coming, so I sit down and pushed so he could come out." I know, I know... Her English makes me cringe too. Even better, she pushed so he could come out -- good thinking Sherlock.
Hold on now! It gets better! As we've all learned in school -- or at least some of us have -- babies are attached to their mothers by an umbilical chord. After this teenage girl becomes a mommy, she picks up her offspring, wraps it up and with the chord still attached she walks -- walks -- to the hospital. Can you imagine?? Lets forget the fact that she gave birth; minor detail at this juncture. Instead, lets think about this walking to the hospital bit. Baby in hands. Placenta in tow. Umbilical chord attached. Really think about that last part. Attached. This chord is stemming from the infant's soon-to-be bellybutton (possibly an outtie at this point) and is feeding right back up into her yoohoo then she walked to the damn hospital. I have no words for this other than... Trojans. A million reasons and 46 chromosomes why to spend the ten bucks and slip one on.
Wait for it... Now I know what you're thinking, why didn't she just call 911? Well, her phone was disconnected. I guess this bright young child prodigy didn't know that even when your home phone is on the fritz due to possible lack of bill payment (I hate it when that happens) that you can still call the emergency hot line 911. So why didn't she use a neighbor's phone? I'll let her field this question for you... She did not want to wake the neighbors because it was so early. I wish she lived next door to me. At least I know she'll be considerate enough to have a baby and not bother me in the morning in her time of distress. Who said the youth of America didn't show respect??
So why didn't her mother help out? Here lies the twist in our little Disney story... The girl didn't tell her mother because she was afraid she'd get kicked out of the house. This makes me wonder... Did her mother not notice her daughter was gaining weight or was this girl round enough where a weight gain went undetected all this time? Now that baby is here however, grandma had to show face and said she would help her daughter take care of the new bundle of joy. Something tells me that when they got home, doors closed where no one could hear or see them, grandma let her daughter know exactly how she felt.
What a happy family. You can hardly keep the smile off the girl's face.
And her mother looks so proud...
The doctor was kind enough to call this teenager "clever" for her "quick thinking". I apologize, but if this is any example of quick thinking amongst our teens today, I fear even more for the future. Doc Perez -- not Perez Hilton -- went on to say that "she knew what to do". You are so right Dr Perez! She's a regular Ben Franklin, the way she sit down and pushed in the shower then wrapped the still attached baby then walked to the hospital. In the words of the immortal Wile E. Coyote... Suuuper Geeenius.
Keep your eye out for this girl to be on the next Maury 100% sure that five different men are the father.
For an unbiased opinion, here is the CNN rendition of the story:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/04/teen.birth.ap/index.html
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