A Letter of Apology...

Dear Undecided Voters of 2004,

I would like to extend my apologies to all of you for angrily criticizing your inability to make a decision on who would be a proper president. To me, it was obvious what we needed -- a change in the direction this country was going. We were (and still are) on a fast track to self destruction (if it already hasn't happened). It just didn't make sense to me how someone who was undecided could sit down, look at the state of the nation and say, 'well I just don't know who to vote for.' There was no way that voting for Bush would at all plausible! As far as I'm concerned, I still can't fathom the idea that we had this lousy president for eight costly years. But I digress...

That was then and this is now. Suddenly, I find myself an avid Hil-Rod supporter without a candidate to vote for. Of course there are our two generic Republican and Democratic candidates to choose from, but the kicker is, I am not at all pleased with either one of them. With all due respect to both McCain and Obama -- I don't think either of them of good for the job by any means.

So now I have to buckle down and do some extensive reading, research and tapping deep into what is best for me needs and decide who would be the best choice for president. As soon as Hillary dropped from the race, I very quickly became an undecided, unsure and weary voter. As I sat down to will myself to stay true to the Democratic party and put my vote towards Obama, I found it very hard to convince myself that he could actually change, change, change this nation towards the better.

It's refreshing to see a young, excited candidate who is willing to take a leap of faith on little experience and save this country from it's impending doom. Much of Obama's views reflect that of my own, but I feel an unsteadiness with him. His lack of experience doesn't assure me that he'll have the complete knowledge to make his changes. To boot, I don't trust him as far as I can throw him (and no, it's not because he's black -- by the by, he's not 100% black either, so race has absolutely nothing to do with it). He advocates for change, but he never actually explains how he'll go about doing it. Instead, he critiques other candidates and points out the wrong in their campaigns. That is all well and fine, but I'd like to know what it is that Obama is going to do to actually project this so-called change. What is he changing? How is he changing it? Will be long to achieve change? We don't know.

On the other side of the spectrum, I see McCain. Older, more experienced and a Republican (that alone petrifies me -- what scares me even more is that I'm actually considering voting for him). While McCain can lean to the right on some issues, he tends to lean to the left on others with his feet just touching the red waters of the right wing. He stands up and explains his views, his plans and what he'd like to do -- the democratic in me fears some of his views, but I find comfort in knowing that he has set plans, experience and is smarter than most others in his party.

Time and time again, I steer myself towards one candidate then the other, but I am never convinced of my decision. I just can't make a solid choice and feel good about it. This got me to thinking even more about presidential elections.

When was the last time I felt good about a candidate, where I genuinely liked who I chose and could see as the absolute right person for the job? And I won't count Hillary -- because to me, she was exactly the president I had wanted and felt genuine about. Despite Mrs Clinton, I realized that I have never felt this same way for any other nominee. In reality, every time I chose a candidate, it was because I highly disliked the other. It's like a crush -- you think you're in love, but actually it's an obsession; simply a crush. When someone better comes along, you easily drop your current affair and jump on the next bandwagon because they were better than the last.

So I sit here an undecided voter. I finally see what it's like and feel the confusion and indecisiveness, the concern and worry for the future. When did voting become more than just voting? Or maybe this is what our forefathers wanted -- this is what they wished for the future of this country; devoted citizens not necessarily aligned with one party or another, but doing their part to educate themselves and choose the best candidate for the leader of this country. It doesn't matter if they're Republican, Democrat, Independent or Green party... Who is the best choice to lead the country in your opinion?

There lies another issue of undecided voters and voters across the country -- in your opinion, how is the government working?

Talk about loaded questions. Everyone has an opinion, that's part of the beauty of this country -- each citizen is entitled to their own opinion. This in turn creates havoc among congress. If I were to tell you that the government is working exactly the way that it was intended to, what would you say? You might call me a pretentious Democrat keen on destroying this country with my views on killing unborn babies and being an environmental tree-hugger.

Actually, I feel abortion should be legal, but not just because it's a woman's body and it's her choice, my opinions on the subject run much deeper and feel that explaining myself is not for the here and now of this juncture in this blog. That will be a conversation/rant for another time.

Back to the government and the fact that it's working just fine... The catch to this Confucius-like phrase is that everyone has their own opinion on what the government should do. At this moment, there are a number of people who feel that the government is doing well, while another portion of the population thinks it downright sucks. Newsflash kids, everyone would like the government to run to appease them, but in reality, the government can only make so many people happy. They do try to appeal to everyone and they will end up failing in this aspect, but just know that the government is working -- not always the way I would like, but again, that's my opinion.

After all this, I sit here an undecided voter. Confused, worried and unsure. While the times are different four years later, the idea of being an undecided voter is still the same albeit 2004 or 2008. So, to those undecideds of four years ago, I apologize because now I see and understand.

In the words of Tim Russert, what a country.